Learning to Say No!

When I first made the decision to stay home so that I could be a full-time mom to my daughter, I didn’t realize that I would unconsciously take on more tasks (that were self-induced) to keep my mind busy.  Staying home is a true gift and I appreciate and value every day that I spend with my daughter.  However, I found myself needing “mommy time”.  So, I looked on Meetup.com and found a local book club in the area that I could join.

I absolutely loved the idea of meeting women and talking about books that we had just read.  Shortly after joining, our book club organizer decided it was time for her to step down and gave me the choice to become organizer or she could just close the group.  I have never been a part of a group of women where there is such a sense of sisterhood and joy.  I just couldn’t bear to see the group close, so I stepped up as organizer and on my way I went.

The book club naturally progressed to having causal outings, where we’ve attended movies, plays/musicals, gone shopping, painted, and even did ceramics together.  It has been so much fun and it has been so exciting to see friendships develop between members.  Now that the book club has grown, I realized I could not manage every area of the book club.  So, I created a leadership team, consisting of book members who graciously volunteer their time and help the book club continue to be personal, engaging, and fun.

Because I have been leisure reading more than I had ever read before (since I became a SAHM), I thought having a blog was just a natural progression for me a book club organizer and reader.  I wanted to write about books I had read, provide reviews, and interview authors so that readers could see the different sides to writing and learn more about the author.

I started my blog shortly after the new year, and was soon open to new and exciting adventures with books.  Through my blog, I have met incredible authors, read books I otherwise would not have read (and enjoyed!), and had opportunities to review books before their published date.  It has been an exciting journey…especially since I love to read!

With that, I have connected with various book sites for bloggers, where I can read books for free ( in exchange for a review) and have authors/publishers contact me directly requesting I read and review their book.  Well, who can turn that down???  Obviously, not me!!!  Being so excited to have these opportunities as a new blogger, I basically accepted every book to read and review (in the genres I prefer), found myself working against deadlines to publish reviews, and feeling pressured to blog regularly like other bloggers do.  I hadn’t mastered what other bloggers have learned to do: set boundaries and learn that it okay to say, “no, not now”.

Because I have a very understanding husband, he listened to me one night as I complained about everything I had to with my blog and reading.  Quietly he listened and then asked me the most basic question that I failed to ask myself, “why can’t you say no?”.  In my eagerness to read every free book available to me, meet authors who have been so generous with their time, and meet review deadlines for publishers, I forgot how to say, “no.”.  That simple word, two letters, a universal word that is understood by everyone….NO.

I realized that I have choices.  I can say no to reading every book presented to me, I do not have to write a blog entry for the sake of writing something, and I do not have to publish my reviews on every site known to man.

I remember a graduate professor once asking our class, “who are you?”.   And, today, I realize, I am a wife, mother, friend, and when I can, I love to read and write.  In that order.

2 thoughts on “Learning to Say No!

  1. Saying no is difficult for me, too. When I was studying to become a librarian, I was told to always say yes. Yes, I was told to always say yes. That’s difficult. Impossible, maybe.

    Here’s my Sunday Salon: Library-less. I hope you will stop by!


    • That is tough as a librarian!! You are inundated with books all the time ;) That is what I would have wanted to be….a librarian…of course, I probably would never check out books b/c I would wat to read them all first! Thanks for posting :D


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