Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality.
Last night, a dear neighbor of mine passed away. It was about 3:30 a.m. when I was awakened by my dogs. It was then that I saw lots of lights outside my window. Running to the neighbor’s house, my first thought was, “where are their kids?”. Because this sweet lady was in and out of hospitals recently, I knew the kids were already having a difficult time accepting their grandmother’s prognosis. When I got to my neighbor’s house, the couple told me that “L” had stopped breathing. They were not sure if she had been resuciatated. Thankfully, the wife’s sister had stayed the night and was a home health care nurse, so she had been giving “L” CPR until paramedics arrived. After everything settled and “L” was whisked away by ambulance, I stayed with the children’s aunt. The children were scared, didn’t know what was going on, didn’t want their mother to leave their side, and kept asking for “L”.
This is a family that was in shock, scared, and in some ways just felt hopeless. Unfortunately, “L” passed away in her sleep. Thankfully, she had spent her evening surrounded by her grandchildren, son, and daughter-in-law. Thankfully, she passed quietly in her sleep. Thankfully, her oldest grandchild was not home and the youngest grandchild was asleep.
I will always treasure the talks I had with “L”, the laughs she gave, and the love she shared with everyone. She was loving, so kind, and looked at any issues as just a block in the road…simply detour and you are fine. “L”, I will miss you and all the wonderful memories we shared. You are but a thought away….
Perhaps they are not stars, but rather openings in heaven where the love of our lost ones pours and shines down upon us to let us know they are happy.
Helping Our Children
Over the years, I have read quite a few good books for children, who have lost a loved one. I thought I’d include a list of those here, since I do also love to read. However, not all children want to read and not all children process their feelings through reading a story. This is why it is so important that as soon as the immediate crisis is over, parents should consider looking for a child therapist that specializes in grief therapy. While family therapists are equipped to work with grief issues, child therapists have more tools in their “box” to use with children, such as puppets, sand trays, and art utensils. They also know how to engage the child through structured play.
Some important contact numbers to have are:
HAMFT-(for the Houston area)
Bo’s Place-(for the Houston area)
Recommended Books for Children
Goodbyes are not forever.
Goodbyes are not the end.
They simply mean I’ll miss you
Until we meet again!
(- Author Unknown)
- Husband, father tells of mountainous grief (news.theage.com.au)
- Melanie Notkin: The Invisible Infertility (huffingtonpost.com)
- Things you never thought of before becoming a mother (anecdotalanna.wordpress.com)
- Ghosts and Shadows: An Interview with Laurie McCants, Part I (dramachicks.wordpress.com)
- Grief camp allows children to cope with the pain of lost family members (nj.com)
- Therapy center in Kent tailored for children from Maple Valley, Covington (pnwlocalnews.com)
- Talking of ending (fromthesamesky.wordpress.com)
- Family tells of its darkest hour (news.theage.com.au)
- Brave! Taylor Fighting Through Her Own Grief To Take Care Of Daughter! (lukewilliamss.wordpress.com)
- Benefits Of Utilizing Children Therapy Programs In Periods Of Chaos (jaysdad.com)